


Simply Want To Feel

by beililee (sapphoatsunset)



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: BDSM, Bloodplay, Dominance, Knifeplay, M/M, Submission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-05
Updated: 2008-12-05
Packaged: 2017-11-23 07:51:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/619760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphoatsunset/pseuds/beililee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Not for the faint of heart. You have been warned. Don’t cry if you don’t like it and it’s too extreme for you. AND PRACTICE SAFE SEX!</p>
    </blockquote>





	Simply Want To Feel

**Author's Note:**

> Not for the faint of heart. You have been warned. Don’t cry if you don’t like it and it’s too extreme for you. AND PRACTICE SAFE SEX!

It was always hard for him, finding the way out of one of these moods. It wasn’t that he _didn’t want_ to come out of it. It was just extremely difficult? What would be his salvation? Often it was pain. Pain would save him and teach him that he still lives, still breathes, still exists. Yes, underneath the happy goofy smile and the ‘baka’ stereotype, Jin was a hurting man.

Sure, it was easy to fool some people, but there was something even more damaging long term about doing that. No one wants to be an actor twenty-four seven in one’s own life, and Jin was no exception. Because in the long run, the emotional damage is too great. Jin didn’t want to be damaged.

He wanted to live. He wanted to move on.

And he couldn’t do it any other way.

Today was no different. He didn’t know what had triggered it. It was never something he could pinpoint directly, but here he was, kneeling dejectedly and naked before the front door waiting for his lover to come home and help him. He needed the help, otherwise, the alternative was too much of a bloody mess – in both senses of the word ‘bloody.’

Luck was on his side though. The front door opened, and Jin already felt better as he felt Yamapi’s commanding presence fill the room. _Thank God. I couldn’t wait much longer, and yet I could have waited all day long just for him. Forever._

“Jinjin?” It was painfully obvious that his lover was in _that_ mood again, and it concerned even as it aroused him. But he knew that Jin didn’t really want to be asked ‘what’s wrong, love?’ so he gladly refrained, instead gripping the ring on Jin’s collar, dragging him to his feet and down the hall to their bedroom (though he did walk slow enough for Jin to keep up.) He just didn’t have it in him to be completely sadistic, and Jin didn’t want that anyways.

Entering the room, he let go of the ring and pointed to the end of the bed, knowing that Jin would understand the command in the movement. He didn’t wait to see if he was obeyed – Jin _always_ obeyed, or almost always – as he rummaged around in the closet, searching for a few necessities.

Jin immediately knelt at the end of the bed, spreading his knees, placing his hands on the edge of the bed and bowing his head as he waited. The clink of metal warned him of Yamapi’s approach, and before he knew it, his wrists were encircled with cold metal and pulled tight in front of him, restrained by a length of rope connecting them to the headboard. Now he would have no defense against any assault, and it was just as he wanted it as he began to revel in the situation, letting it wash over him and smooth away the rough edges in his life.

“Don’t look up Jinjin, and don’t speak. I know that will be hard for you, but you can do it. Don’t disappoint me and make me have to gag you…” Yamapi sounded sad at the prospect and Jin felt himself nodding slightly. It was a simple enough task, and would keep him from shouting self-deprecating phrases and berating himself time and again.

He bit his lip and prepared for what he expected to be a blow to his ass or lower back. He was wrong. Oh so very wrong. Instead, there was the touch of more cold metal and the hint of a sharp blade, and he gasped before biting his lip again. He’d always wanted to feel this, but how had he known? How?

“Jinjin wants to feel, ne?” Yamapi’s voice mocked him, yet there was a hint of love underneath it all and he clung to that as he nodded, smiling on the inside as he felt everything fall into place inside. He was in capable hands, and he was alive and all was okay. It didn’t matter if he didn’t believe in himself; Yamapi loved him enough to help him bear it all, and relax into his place in the painful grand scheme of things just as he would relax into whatever pain Yamapi chose to lovingly inflict upon his flesh.

Yamapi chuckled softly and caressed the top of Jin’s head affectionately. “Of course you do, my Jinjin. So greedy, but I love to give.” The first cut was shallow, small, quick, simply a warm-up, and Jin held back a hiss as he felt air try to seep into the wound and sting the new flesh. He took a deep breath and nodded his consent for Yamapi to continue, something about the motion saying, “Please? More?” and Yamapi smirked, though Jin couldn’t see the expression.

The second cut was deeper but just as short and, though it eclipsed the first, felt like little more than nothing as Jin relaxed into the feeling, reaching that serene place where everything was, and nothing demanded overly much. He was floating on the feeling, and actually smiled as Yamapi made a longer cut, the trickle of blood cooling the heating flesh of his back. “It’s so beautiful how you feel, Jinjin.” There was pride in his voice and Jin grappled towards it mentally, storing it away for his next tough moments as he felt his length twitch and harden.

Three more cuts, three more lines of blood and he strained against his bonds for the first time, wanting to touch his length. It always got to him, the intensity of the moment, and he always climaxed harder, faster, but it never embarrassed him, even when Yamapi tsked and said, “Jinjin… so needy. Patience…”

But that was the end of the pain as it merged into pleasure and Yamapi reached for the lube, opening it and slicking his fingers generously. He lifted Jin up by the hips and had him rise up on his knees to make the position easier for what was to come. Inserting one inside of his lover, Yamapi wiggled it around and stroked as Jin bit his lips to stifle his moans, drawing blood there as well. Yamapi smirked at the sight, and murmured, “I want to hear you now, love.”

It was like the floodgates of sound opened up and Jin groaned. “Please, Pi? Please?”

Yamapi chuckled again, “What did I tell you about patience, love?” but he inserted another finger anyways, stroking them together and spreading his lover, readying him for the moment to come. Another finger and a high-pitched, needy sound from Jin was all it took. Yamapi withdrew his fingers and Jin whined as his lover liberally applied lube to his cock before thrusting inside.

Pausing for just a moment, he let Jin adjust, and then thrust in and out at a steady pace, finding Jin’s spot with the experience of many years together. Jin’s moans were loud and uninhibited, and it wasn’t much longer before he came, Yamapi’s name on his lips as he fell over the edge, body tightening around his love. It only took a few more thrust for Yamapi to follow, groaning Jin’s name against his shoulder, shuddering before pulling out.

Walking to the adjoining bath, he wet a washcloth and got some ointment to treat Jin’s wounds. Cleansing the flesh, he rubbed salve into the wounds and bandaged them, wanting Jin to heal correctly. Then, reaching up, he unattached Jin from the bed and released his wrist from the metal cuffs before pulling him up onto the bed and spooning him affectionately. “I love you Jin. All better now, love?”

Jin nodded. “Yes. Thank you. I love you too” He smiled and snuggled up against him, sighing happily. Yes, all was okay, and he was in more than capable, and loving hands.

**Author's Note:**

> Public Service Announcement: Safe words are important, and all sex should be consenual, as should be all sexual situations. Be careful with your partner and do not try something like this without proper communication and research first.


End file.
